'I'm ready for disaster with 72-hour survival kit - but the films have apocalypse wrong'

I have been a Doomsday prepper all my life – I just didn't know it. I'm naturally organised and like to make sure I never run out of anything, but that does mean my stockpiling can make me look like an extreme hoarder.

Having counted at least nine cans of baked beans in my kitchen cupboards as part of my prepping audit, being eaten by zombies will be the least of my problems with all that digestive discomfort. The UK and European governments have been told they should have a 72-hour survival kit, but I have discovered I could survive a week just on the contents of my emergency snack drawer.

According to expert prepper Dan Goss, 33, in Liverpool, I am prepping the right way – making it more of a lifestyle choice so that we can live off household supplies for several weeks. I don't have a car so I always make sure I'm well stocked and prepared for all emergencies, as long as they involve an empty wineglass.

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I also started having loo rolls delivered in bulk after ran dry during the Covid pandemic. Now I could measure half my financial worth in toilet paper in the cupboard under the stairs. But according to Dan, society is not going to break down the way apocalyptic movies would have us believe anyway.

He says, "Hollywood's idea of disaster is that industrialised society exists in the morning, something happens at 11 o'clock, and then by the afternoon – society is gone and we're all wearing hockey masks and eating each other's flesh."

More likely we're going to experience what Dan calls the "crumbles" as climate change gradually drives up food prices and bit by bit we see a gradual breakdown in social structures."

Having spent a lot of time in kids indoor soft play centres, I've seen this happen already. Father-of-two Dan runs the website www.startprepping.co.uk where he takes a different approach to many of the fanatical military-style survival experts. "I started my website for people who want to keep themselves and their families safe, but don't want someone trying to sell them Tactical Elite Commando flip-flops."

Unsurprisingly the prepping industry is expected to be worth $2.46bn by 2030 – but Dan doesn't believe half of it is needed. "Having a bunker mentality in a disaster won't save you when your child gets ill and you need help – you need to be able to be part of the community and help rebuild it," he says wisely.

Even parenting website Mumsnet has a forum on prepping and is full of women who have nappy bags that could double as survival bags, although some of their lists sound more like murder kits with duct tape and zip ties. Dan says, "I want to challenge the prevailing prepper narrative because helping other humans is baked into our DNA," he says. "US preppers are cowboys who think when the s**t hits the fan, you lock your door, load your gun, and anybody that comes up the drive gets shot.

"You can't do that in the UK because it just doesn't fit our culture and our geography. How am I going to bunker up in a terraced house? Or flee to the pristine wilderness? Are all 60 million of us going to descend on the Forest of Dean and eat wild garlic?"

But Dan is under no illusion that any of his prepping will help if the bombs come. "If World War 3 starts, no, I won't survive that either."

1. Team building

It won't be the geeks who will inherit the earth – but ladies from the Women's Institute. "Disaster studies of the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina found that spontaneously organised civilian groups sprang up. It's human instinct to want to help," says Dan. "I look at my own preparedness by getting to know my neighbours who are keen vegetable gardeners."

The only trouble with this theory is that you need useful neighbours – I am surrounded by students, and they will all starve within hours if they can't order Deliveroo.

Another disaster study Dan quotes is one in India after a series of earthquakes. "It found that the people most likely to survive afterwards when resources were scarce were the ones the strongest social networks – those turned up at all the weddings and funerals." Basically my Irish granny would survive as enjoyed going to funerals so much, she didn't even have to know the family.

2. Thrills and skills

At first Dan thought of himself as more of a hunter-gatherer type – making bows and arrows and foraging. "Turns out I'm better at vegetable ," he admits. "My wife and I have an allotment and we grow vegetables and herbs. There's only so much you can grow in a city, it just supplements our diet. But even growing salad leaves on a balcony would help."

Gardening is probably the number one skill to have, and the other one that Dan says is really often overlooked is conflict resolution. "Being able to de-escalate problems – like stopping neighbours from stabbing each other over a tin of beans will be vital."

Taking first aid and bushcraft classes would also be useful, and learning to knit, crochet and sew would also be handy when you need to stitch a few rabbit skins together for clothing. "Or mending backpacks," Dan suggests more realistically.

4. Deep cupboards

Working with what you have is at the heart of Dan's prepper philosophy and he advises people to keep a well-stocked kitchen. "The guidelines are to keep three days' worth of emergency food – but as long as your cupboards aren't completely empty, you probably could do that any time. Better to have a week's worth of supplies stored in deep kitchen cupboards rather than kept separately. I try to keep food that we actually do eat because that helps rotate things, and means we don't have a drastic shift in diet by suddenly having to eat ration bars."

And Dan says just use up what's in the fridge if the power goes off. "Keep your fridge and freezer doors closed and everything will keep cool for a few days." Which means I won't panic until day three when I have to drink warm white wine.

3. Living off the land

My idea of living off the land is foraging at the late night One Stop, but Dan says on top of the long-life food, preppers will need extra vitamins to avoid scurvy.

"Foraging won't stave off starvation," he says. "But it will prevent things like vitamin deficiency. I prefer plant foraging in blackberry bushes, tree nuts, leaves and roots rather than mushrooms, which aren't very nutritious."

Dan recommends a book called The Forager's Calendar by John Wright. He says, "It's remarkable how much there is out there to eat. In my local park there's three-cornered leek, lemon mint, barberry and wild garlic, while roadside woodlands are teeming with dandelions, stinging nettle, thistle stalks and fiddlehead ferns." Again, I don't expect my teenager to want to live past day three if I offer her a plate of nettles for tea.

4. Power to the people

Not many homes are prepared if the UK was to suffer a catastrophic power outage. "Back-up power like small solar generators are expensive," Dan concedes. "But many households have solar panels now. And even if the panels don't have battery storage, during the day they could power a fridge."

Dan suggests thinking about what you can accomplish without electricity. "We can use a gas hob, and if that's out, we have a wood-burning stove. A metal camping kettle for boiling water on the stove means we make water safe to drink, and have cups of tea and coffee and boil spuds."

Being with power for her digital devices will be the worst thing that could happen to my teenage daughter. "I'd rather be eaten by zombies," she told me.

5. Wired for sound

A major cyber attack could cripple the UK's phone and digital networks, and families have to sit around the wireless for news. "The government recommendations are to have a little wind-up or rechargeable radio, and those with vehicles also have a car radio. These will be a vital information source in the event of a disaster," says Dan. "It will tell you how long your have to bunker down for. Does it only affect my neighbourhood? Does it only affect my city? Is the whole down?

"The answer to those questions will change the way I respond. If this is just my neighbourhood, then I can go to work. And also, having a little two-way radio will also keep you in touch with other communities." All those who laughed at nerdy CB radio buffs in their sheds will be sorry because they will be the warlords.

6. Be fuelly prepared

It wasn't so long ago we saw fuel shortages bring the country to a virtual standstill, when people started panic buying. If you need to evacuate, then Dan suggests being ready so you can leave and not have to queue up with everyone else.

"Never go below half a tank of fuel in the car," he says. "You can get most of the way across the country on half a tank if you need to leave your city quickly."

You can store fuel of course, but it only has a shelf life of six months. Or alternatively, you go fully Mad Max: Fury Road complete with nipple piercings and set up your own oil refinery. "Everybody forgets that bicycles exist when they're making post-apocalyptic movies, but they're the ideal transport,” says Dan. Look out for the next movie in the franchise Mad Max: The Bike Shed.